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Тексты песни. Забавные тексты
I Will Muff Dive
by Evel Karaoke.
Once I was afraid, I was petrified.
Because my father told me women had big teeth inside.
But then I spent many a night prayin' that my dad was wrong,
And got it on, with a woman in a thong.
And then we went back to her place.
She spent half the night convincing me to sit upon my face.
Then she opened upher legs, on the bedroom floor she sat.
And said, "Do you see any teeth?" I said, "Not with gums like that."
So down I go, all gung-ho, I turn her over,
In case I make her come or go.
Now who's the one with all the matted public hair,
You thought I'd crumble, thought I'd be comin' up for air.
Oh no, not I. I will muff dive.
And as long as I still have a tongue, I know I'll gratify.
Now I'm head of the class, pull the sheets out of your ass.
I will muff dive, I will muff dive. Hey now...
It took all the strength I had tryin' to bust a nut.
Now my face always looks like a glazed donut.
I took Kinison's advice, now I feel my problem has been licked.
Now she's sopping wet and smiling cuz I licked the alphabet.
Now you do me, I think I've proved,
I can rock the girl inside the boat and make her earth move.
You think the buffet you laid out is all I can eat.
Well now I'm savin' all my tongueing for someone cunn-i-ling like me.
So down you go, fellatio...
Pay for the ride, swallow my pride, remember: suck, don't blow!
Milk me like a cow and then it'll be your turn again,
And I'll muff dive, I will muff dive, hey hey...
I Will Survive
(на тему "Властелина колец")
At first I was afraid, I was trembling
Kept thinking I could never live
Without my Precious Ring
But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking Baggins did me wrong
And I grew strong
Still I can hardly get along
I want you back
Here in your place
And so I'll slink back to the world
with this sad look upon my face
I should have kept you on that rock
I should have put you on a chain
If I'd have known for just one second
You'd be causing me such pain
And so I'll go, walk out this door
Can't hide away now
'Cause you're not with me anymore
Baggins' the one who tried to break me with goodbye
Did he think I'd crumble?
Did he think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to hate
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my pain to give
And I'll survive, I will survive
Hey hey.
It takes all the strength I have to leave the damp and dark
To step out under the white face
With my blackened heart
But I've spent oh so many nights
Just gnawing fisssshes by myself
I used to cry, but now I long to see him die
And I still want my Precious back
I'm not some foolish little person who'll just vanish in a crack
And so he thought he could walk off and just forget all about me
Oh no, I swear I'll own again that
Precious Ring that still owns me
And so I'll go, walk out this door
Can't hide away now
'Cause you're not with me anymore
Baggins' the one who tried to break me with goodbye
Did he think I'd crumble?
Did he think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to hate
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my pain to give
And I'll survive, I will survive
Hey hey.
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